Just a reminder to whomever still finds themself visiting here ( [insert preferred diety here] bless you! ) that you can see a greater range of photos on my Flickr or Fotothing accounts.

Access to them can be gained from the links in the sidebar.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chriswild/
http://www.fotothing.com/icemarkuk

Sometimes, all you need to do is close your mind to the white noise of doubt that clusters your thoughts, and listen to the silence, listen to the words, listen to the music. Accept the brief moments of calm that will allow you to shelter in the pleasant safety of the knowledge that; what you think is worth following!

I find myself at a strange position in my life. For those of you who know me, and those of you who know me well, I like to think of myself as a relatively creative person. I also think that I am somone whose creativity drifts in the wind of mediocrity. Right here, right now, I have two things going on in my head, two things that have presented themself as fact; I have a story to tell and I have business to build.

The business; there’s not much to tell about this at this stage, other than to say that, for the first time in a very long time, I am absolutley sure it is something I should do.

The story; this is something that has been in my head for some time now. It started as something that I wrote for my creative writing course a few years ago and then morphed into a story that I could tell to Rebekah. Together we have played around with ideas that have helped to shape the concept.

It started like this…

A single streak of daylight dissected the dim room through the curtains

Now, I’ve struggled with the story, not fully understood it, and thus not been able to write it down. However, over the last few weeks it seems to be becoming clearer. The more things I do, the more I read, the more I listen, the more I speak, the more I think, all makes it clearer.

For as long as I have been thinking about this story, there is a phrase that keeps popping into my head. I’ve never written it down, never known how to follow it, never kown what to do with it…

“There are things in this world that I don’t understand..”

It just comes to me, pops in my head, a nagging question that needs a answer, begs for one. if only I knew what the follow up was. I could just find the response needed to write it down. Maybe there are just things in this world that I don’t understand.

I sat reading my book during lunch, listening to my iPod. The statement once more popped into my head. I stopped, looked out of the window to the Candian Geese playing on the lake, and just knew that the book was something that I should do. No longer should, but must.

As I write this Hogarth is singing in my ear…

I have seen this face a thousand times
Every morning of my life
But I never saw these eyes so clear
Free of doubt and pain
Like the whole world has been made again

I don’t know what that means, but it feels like it means something to me, because I just nearly wept, had to take a moment there… Maybe it is so clear to me, maybe I am free of doubt…

I tune in to some friendly voices
Talking bout stupid things.
I cant be left to my imagination.
Let me be weak,
Let me sleep
And dream of sheep. - Kate Bush

Beyond You
Marillion

If you were a baby I would take you and run
I could hide you in the folds of my heart
There’s a truth in the madness that I can’t get beyond
And a fever that won’t leave me alone
I don’t want my heart
Don’t want my head
Don’t want my friends
Don’t want my bed
I can’t live with myself
I can’t live with myself
Can’t take no help
I try to want to
But I can’t get beyond you

I will stare from the window
At the shapes in the rain
As the space between us drives me insane

I can’t live with myself
I can’t live with myself
Can’t take no help
Don’t want no one else

If I was a child
I would refuse to leave
I would sit down on the street
Kick my legs and scream

I’m not much of a man
But I know how I am
I know this won’t fade away
I will pretend and be strong
But I wonder where I belong

And the feeling comes in waves
A hole in my body, aching
Like a heart dying
A soul crying
Exhausted and insecure
Took all you have and I still want more
So I reach out to hold you
But all I do is hurt you
Hurt you

I can’t live with myself
I can’t live with myself
Can’t take no help
I try to want to
But I can’t get beyond you

If I was a child I would take you and run
And I say I don’t know… But I know
And I say I’ll go

You just spent the whole day
Driving away

Got out of my car this morning and fired up my iPod on shuffle… first song Pink:Fingers, followed by Girls Aloud:Call the Shots, and Rihanna, Don’t stop the musc… they all seem to have a perfect Walking BPM.!