When two events happen simultaneously…

“When two events happen simultaneously pertaining to the same object of inquiry, we must always pay strict attention.”

– Agent Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks

I had a scary moment of the holiday period. I started becoming ill on Boxing day, just the usual trivial stuff – nose and throat, and by New Years Eve it had settled in good and proper. Now, I’m not someone who subscribes to Manflu and I tend to handle illness relatively well. However, by New Years Day it was well and truly getting on my proverbials…

New Years Eve had been a late night, going to bed about 4am, and then New Years Day involved going out for a walk. So by 9.30pm I was well and truly knackered – soaked in the bath and early night.

I woke at about 2am to the smell of some kind of burning. It wasn’t the smell that had woken me, it was just there. As I woke I noticed that the whole room was misty/smokey. I jumped out of bed and rushed into the kids room. I checked all the rooms upstairs – everything ok apart from the smoke.

My rationale at the moment of time was that I didn’t think there was a big roaring fire, just some kind of small simmering type fire, or more likely, something bigger outside that was filtering in through the windows.

Anyway, I rushed downstairs and systematically checked all the rooms – everything ok – except for the smoke. I looked outside, but there was nothing obvious. By the time I returned to the kitchen Victoria was there wondering what was up. She wasn’t at all panicked by some smoke, more likely by my irrational behaviour.

[Paraphrasing a strange conversation that followed…]

“What’s up?”
“The whole house is filled with smoke or mist or something,” I said.
“Go and look in the mirror,”

I looked in the mirror, and my eyes were filled with yuk! A few minutes of vigorous washing later, and everything had returned to normal.

So the smoke turned out to be my cold coming out of my eyes, or a possible reaction to the bubble bath!

The smell – Victoria had lit an incense thingy when we’d got in on New Years Day to attempt to remove the smell of the stale house.

I didn’t sleep anymore that night…

Needless to say, Victoria bought extra smoke alarms and stuff over the weekend…

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Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions.

How far do you let your mind wander? As you got about your day-to-day business, do you allow your mind to follow the path of least resistance? Do you allow it to explore the depths of things usually hidden, searching for answers, searching for questions? Can you sit and listen to music, close your eyes and wonder where your mind will end up? Floating high like a kite, soaring like and eagle, and other cliched metaphors. Reflect on things past. Ponder on things to come.

I do…

The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I’ve set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
oh, let’s go back to the start

Running in circles
Comet tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Come tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
All in a rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start…

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There are things in this world that I don’t understand…

I find myself at a strange position in my life. For those of you who know me, and those of you who know me well, I like to think of myself as a relatively creative person. I also think that I am somone whose creativity drifts in the wind of mediocrity. Right here, right now, I have two things going on in my head, two things that have presented themself as fact; I have a story to tell and I have business to build.

The business; there’s not much to tell about this at this stage, other than to say that, for the first time in a very long time, I am absolutley sure it is something I should do.

The story; this is something that has been in my head for some time now. It started as something that I wrote for my creative writing course a few years ago and then morphed into a story that I could tell to Rebekah. Together we have played around with ideas that have helped to shape the concept.

It started like this…

A single streak of daylight dissected the dim room through the curtains

Now, I’ve struggled with the story, not fully understood it, and thus not been able to write it down. However, over the last few weeks it seems to be becoming clearer. The more things I do, the more I read, the more I listen, the more I speak, the more I think, all makes it clearer.

For as long as I have been thinking about this story, there is a phrase that keeps popping into my head. I’ve never written it down, never known how to follow it, never kown what to do with it…

“There are things in this world that I don’t understand..”

It just comes to me, pops in my head, a nagging question that needs a answer, begs for one. if only I knew what the follow up was. I could just find the response needed to write it down. Maybe there are just things in this world that I don’t understand.

I sat reading my book during lunch, listening to my iPod. The statement once more popped into my head. I stopped, looked out of the window to the Candian Geese playing on the lake, and just knew that the book was something that I should do. No longer should, but must.

As I write this Hogarth is singing in my ear…

I have seen this face a thousand times
Every morning of my life
But I never saw these eyes so clear
Free of doubt and pain
Like the whole world has been made again

I don’t know what that means, but it feels like it means something to me, because I just nearly wept, had to take a moment there… Maybe it is so clear to me, maybe I am free of doubt…

I tune in to some friendly voices
Talking bout stupid things.
I cant be left to my imagination.
Let me be weak,
Let me sleep
And dream of sheep. – Kate Bush

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Music to walk to…

Got out of my car this morning and fired up my iPod on shuffle… first song Pink:Fingers, followed by Girls Aloud:Call the Shots, and Rihanna, Don’t stop the musc… they all seem to have a perfect Walking BPM.!

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Cold…

Blind Curve
I. Vocal Under A Bloodlight

Last night you said I was cold, untouchable
A lonely piece of action from another town
I just want to be free, I’m happy to be lonely
Can’t you stay away?
Just leave me alone with my thoughts
Just a runaway, just a runaway
I’m saving myself

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